Be Still My Soul by Kara Althoff

                  Peaceful Iona sunset

Have you ever had to swallow something so bitter that it leaves a vacuum-like hollow spot deep in your gut?  I'm not talking about literally swallowing something....although it definately feels like it sometimes when troubles asail us doesn't it?  I'm talking about the times when you find out that your friend has Cancer, or your child is in trouble, or someone you've loved has suddenly died, or you have been betrayed at the deepest level.  I don't like that horrible helpless feeling that washes over me when something "bitter-tasting" occurs, but like a literal swallowing, it is the initial shock that is the worst, and then the digestion begins.

Lately, it seems like everywhere I turn, I am hearing about tragedy, violence, heartache, illness, and betrayal.  A person can get downright down-under if the burdens of the world are allowed to take over in her heart.  But the reality is, we are exposed to such agonizing things because they are part of the fabric of our lives.  I'm not gonna lie....I would rather put my head in the sand to avoid facing things.  And sometimes I turn and run swiftly in the opposite direction to try and escape the sorrow.  I've never been a "face it head on" kinda girl.  But some things just hit head-on whether we want it to or not.  

When I am consumed with "self", I tend to choke on the "bitter things" more easily.  But when my eyes are fixed on Jesus, most things pale in comparison to His amazing grace and His mysterious ways of revealing sparkling beauty and sweetness amidst the bitterness.  When I truly take the time to look around at all of the good that is happening in this world, and in my life and in the lives of those I love, I find peace.  When I am still, I remember that the Lord is on my side and has my best interest at heart...as He does all His children.  His will trumps all wills.  Oh, but I do wrestle with my "self" so often!  I have to make a conscious effort to stop and look around and let go  of the things that tie me into knots.  

I have recently read a book called, " The Hardest Peace" by Kara Tippets and have been following her blog called Mundane Faithfulness.  I have been truly humbled as I have followed her journey through Cancer.  She has 4 young children and a vibrant heart for the Lord.....but she is dying.  This woman, despite her pain and suffering, has maintained her ministry of speaking such wonder and love to a vast audience of readers.  She has been faithful and persistent in sharing the goodness of God, even in her darkest days.  She is honest and open about the hardest peace, but she always comes to one conclusion.....she has Jesus, and He is enough.  I have been moved deeply by her words and her faith.

http://youtu.be/rKDC4ugYQOk

No matter what happens in this world, Jesus has overcome it and HE IS ENOUGH.  Therefore, we can swallow those bitter things trust Him to help us digest and work through them in HIS strength.  We can trust Him to not only get us through them, we can trust Him to use them to bring about new faith and new discoveries of His vast character of love and grace.  So......take a deep breath and breathe Him in.  Let His Spirit fill your soul as you sit in stillness before Him.  Allow His Presence to be your focus and peace in this crazy mixed-up world.  His sweetness will overshadow the bitter things as He reveals the goodness that is happening all around.  And........the best is yet to come for those who trust Him!

"Be Still, My Soul"
by Catharina von Schlegel, 1697-?
Translated by Jane Borthwick, 1813-1897

1. Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul, though dearest friends depart
And all is darkened in the vale of tears;
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrows and thy fears.
Be still, my soul; thy Jesus can repay
From His own fulness all He takes away.

4. Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Shelter from the wind

        

             Internet photo

I read somewhere that when there are strong winds, birds often fly directly in to the wind instead of away from the wind. Why? Because they know that the winds will lift them to greater heights, bringing them closer to the warmth of the sun.

The wind has been howling all night long on this cold November day. Our bedroom is on the second floor of our house, and at times, I thought the roof was going to blow right off!  But I know better. I know the roof is secured by layers of shingles, wood, insulation, and many strong nails.  Though the wind may be forceful, our shelter is secure. 

Sufferings are the winds of life, and Satan's torments are always lashing at the windows of our soul. In fact, sometimes I feel like the winds might knock me right down. But our refuge in the Lord is secure. We are protected by layers of His loving forgiveness, and insulated by His Word, because He endured the wood and nails of the Cross that saved us from the eternal destruction of the winds of sin. 

The winds of Satan's torments are meant for harm, but what Satan means for harm, God uses for good. Just like those birds who fly in to the wind, we too can trust God to bring us to greater heights of faith as we trust Him in our struggles, and bring us closer and closer to the warmth of The Son.

They say you can't really see the wind itself.  It is an invisible force that can only be evidenced by how it affects things that we CAN see. What if we were one of those things that others can see in the wind? What if, instead of destruction, they could see us standing firm like a firmly rooted tree?  Though we may sway and bend at times, we can stand strong because when our faith is deeply rooted in Christ, we will not be knocked down.

What kinds of winds are blowing in your life right now? Will you remember that in Jesus, your refuge is secure? He will strengthen your roots of faith as you trust Him to lift you to greater heights of His love.

Sand Castles out of Dust

It was a hot, dry afternoon and little Maisy had decided she had had enough antique shopping for one day, so Auntie Kara took her outside to play. Unfortunately, the parking lot was not ideal for a 3 year old to play in. Just as I was about to suggest a little walk around the block, she excitedly said," I'm going to make a sand castle!"  (Don't you just love toddler 'accents'?!). 

Well, at this point I took pity upon the poor child-----I mean, how in the world was she going to make a sand castle out of practically NOTHING?  Other than a thin layer of dirt and tiny pebbles, the parking lot seemed void of hope for a sand castle. As I was busy doubting, Maisy's tiny hands went to work! She built a small mound and patted it all smooth with tender care.  I stood watching, thinking, "oh bless her heart!" I was ready to move on when she reached for a few tiny little twigs and gingerly poked them in like tiny flags, proudly declaring the importance of her little castle.  I complimented her effort ....but she wasn't done yet! 

Maisy stood up and scanned the parking lot, obviously seeing more potential in that dusty parking lot. Her ponytail bounced as she ran over to some small rocks. She exclaimed, "there's some pretty rocks over here!  I'm going to c'lect 'em!" One by one she took each rock over and carefully placed it near her castle. As I visited with her mommy who had just come out from the store, Maisy was working on her masterpiece. When I looked down, I was amazed! Each rock was placed according to it's size, creating a grand entrance to the wonderful castle. It was then that I started to feel very small....and Maisy was looking more and more wise by the minute.

Just when I thought there could be NOTHING more she could do, (Oh me of little faith!) the 3-year old wonder stood up and scanned that old parking lot yet again. I glanced as she headed toward some old bushes that were up against the hot brick building.  With my doubting eyes, I saw NOTHING, but Maisy.....well she saw SOMETHING!  And here she came running back with 2 bright pink little flowers that she had spotted on the bush! Who woulda thunk it?!  It was the end of summer....and the blooms should have been done, but nope, not today!

With a big smile of satisfaction, Maisy placed those precious treasures upon her "Sand Castle" and stood back to admire her works.......and it was then that I got it!  The faith of a child knows no bounds. Where there is hope, SOMETHING can always be made from NOTHING.  Because the truth of the matter is this.....NOTHING is SOMETHING. You see, everything has a purpose, it just takes faith to see it.

The Laying of Hands

Up before the crack of dawn, I sit at my dining room table with a heavy heart.....a mother's heart, heavy laden with sorrow for the changes life has brought her child.  I longingly look over at the photo on the table......the one that has been sitting there since 2006 when we took a family trip together and lined up  before dinner to have a quick photo shoot.  

I look at the photo with an ache of wanting the past to be now...wanting to have those kids near again. I almost feel their hands upon me as I gaze at the picture...I almost hear their joy over the ticking of the clock above my head.  Oh, to have my hand upon that son again....holding him steady and keeping him safe.

I pray and pray for all things bad to be brought to good.....the way God promises.  I pray and pray for the strength to endure the process. I pray for wisdom to know how to take the next step and for faith to trust my feet to move in those steps....because sometimes I can become downright paralyzed with fear.

The Bible verse for the day pops up on my cellphone...."Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective". James 5:16   Suddenly there is a spark of hope that ignites from deep within my heart, because even in my "paralysis", there is always a prayer, and accompanying that prayer are countless other prayers from all around.  Faithful friends and family pour out their hearts in prayer and in a powerful swirl, they ascend and are heard by the ear of God.  Like a single breath in the atmosphere of a million breaths, our prayers join and become part of the huge and  powerful plea for help in this very lost world. 

I glance at the photo again, and this time I see it all-together differently.  Instead of longing and sorrow, I have hope as I see the laying of the hands.  

As my dear friend endured cancer, we had several opportunities to pray for her....and when there were too many hands to all be able to touch her, we would lay our hands on the person next to us, and that person would touch the person next to them until all hands led to the one being prayed over.   There is power in the joining of hands and hearts and whispers of prayer....there is healing and restoration that happens when we all come together on the behalf of one another.  And I, for the first time, notice the laying of the hands on my son in that photo.

Profound....it is absolutely profound how God can use something like that to give a mama hope.  But the realization of how one single prayer can make a difference just knocked me off my chair and on to my knees......and I thanked God for all of the people in my life that offer up their pleas to God on my behalf......on my family's behalf......and on my child's behalf......because those prayers are the "laying of the hands" upon the very ones that need healed.......and isn't that each one of us?  We all need the healing hand of God upon us, and through fervent prayers offered up, we can petition for one another in a chorus of hope, knowing that our gracious God hears and will answer in His own way.  That gives me peace.  And I am grateful beyond words.

Steadfast in the Storm

 God is within her, she will not fall;

                               God will help her at the break of day.    

                                                                              Psalm 46:5

I am awakened by the wind whistling through my open bedroom window.  It is still dark outside and the rain is falling, falling, falling......

I get up and go downstairs to make a cup of tea because I cannot sleep.  So many things seem to be shaking in the wind.....so many thoughts and concerns swirl in chaos in my heart and mind.

I look out the front window and the little tree is being blasted by bouts of sporadic wind.  The leaves flip so their dull colored backsides are shown.  But she is steadfast and instead of shaking, she sways with the currents of cold misty air.  

I've been watching her for 2 weeks in that little tree.  A mama Mourning Dove bravely made her nest on a low branch just 10 feet from our front porch.  And on those 2 little white eggs she sits, and sits, and sits.  It's only when I walk too close that she takes flight with a whimper, and watches from a nearby tree.  I've been watching.  I've been seeing her steadfastness, even in the storms.  I've been noticing how she sways instead of shaking......and how she stays instead of stirring.

                            Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;

                                          He lifts His voice,

                                          the Earth melts.

                                The Lord Almighty is with us;

                             the God of Jacob is our fortress.

                                                                   Psalm 46:6-7

And now there is a hush..........shhhhhhhhh

It's quiet now

The sun is rising

And all that I hear is the cheerful chirps of those who have weathered the storm.

              BE STILL, AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD

                                                                                                                                        Psalm 46:10

                                    

Thirsty

Are you thirsty?

Sometimes I don't drink enough water.  I know this is not good, but I let my busyness distract me from drinking enough water in the day.  Sometimes I don't even realize that I am thirsty.....

Did you know that there are real side effects of not drinking enough water?  For example, one of the side effects of not drinking enough water is a taxing effect on our kidneys. They are not able to remove the toxins from our body effectively as they don’t have enough ‘fluid’ to flush our systems the way they are meant to. Instead, they overwork trying to flush ‘sludge’ instead of fluid from our system and hence can’t properly clean the urea and uric acid (amongst other toxins) the way they are meant to.

Other side effects include achy joints, headaches, fatigue, dry skin, irritability and depression....all which could be related to the inability to remove the toxins from our body.

The bottom line is, we don't feel or act our best when we don't drink enough water.  

Yesterday was a nice sunny day....one of the first warm days of the spring.  I mowed the lawn and as I finished, my head was pounding, my mouth was dry and I was out of energy.  But, after 5 or 6 glasses of water, I started feeling much better.  I felt restored and rejuvenated and was ready to take on the next thing on my list!  

There have been times that I simply retreated and succumbed to that head-pounding fatigue without replenishing my body with fluids-----the result?  Headache, lethargy, and slothfulness! 

Sometimes I just need somebody to remind me to drink water because it doesn't come naturally.  Sometimes I just need to keep a big drink bottle right in my presence so I remember to keep taking big gulps.

 I will lead them beside streams of water on a level path where they will not stumble....Jeremiah 31:9

For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants. Isaiah 44:3

All through scripture, there are references to water.  Jesus reminds me that HE is the water I need.....the Living Water. And He will lead me and remind me that only He can quench a true thirst.

Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” John 7:38

When I am spiritually dry because of neglecting to spend time with God, those toxins of doubt, fear, pride, self-centeredness, and anger, circulate in my body and the result?  Fuzzy-headed vision that fails to see things through the eyes of God, weakness and fatigue from the circumstances of life, and slothful living that wastes precious time that could be spent glorifying God.  

But by His Grace, I am restored and rejuvenated as He cleanses and fills me with the living water of His Spirit.

Each one will be like a shelter from the wind and a refuge from the storm, like streams of water in the desert and the shadow of a great rock in a thirsty land. Isaiah 32:2

That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers. Psalm 1:3

And by that Water, we drink and we drink and we drink.  And we are cleansed and we are filled. We are filled and we overflow with the fruits born of the Water.  The fruits of the Spirit. 

I am thirsty.

Like that big water-bottle I keep in my presence to remind me to take big gulps, I keep my Bible near to remind me to drink in His Word.

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. Psalm 42:1

And after a few big gulps of His Word, I am ready to take on the next thing in my life!

A Mother's Day

They call it "Mother's Day".            

It's a day to celebrate mothers.  It's a day to thank moms for all that they have done, and all that they will do.
Some take their moms to brunch or dinner....some bring flowers.  But even though all of that is nice, it goes way deeper than that.

I've often thought that if all of the experiences and emotions of motherhood could be brought before us at once, it would probably bring us to our knees.  It would be both, so overwhelmingly joyful and so crushingly painful, at the same time. Because motherhood is that way.  And it doesn't stop.....ever.

From the time of conception, a mother is connected to her children in ways that are indescribable by human terms.  Agony and ecstasy are often a part of every day for a mother.  We love our kids so much that it hurts sometimes.  Isn't it strange that a love so deep can cause pain?  Well, it does.  Because every mama has times when she watches her child, young or old, struggle with life.  Every mama has days when she has to just count on the Lord to rescue and restore her child's brokenness.  Every mama has to learn when it's time to step back, rather than hover and try to fix things, because she knows it will grow her baby strong......and that can be agonizing.

Oh, but the love.....the love so strong that it is unbreakable and never ceasing.  A mother is given a love so deep and so otherworldly that no one or no thing can take it away or damage it.  It is unconditional and can withstand even the most heart-wrenching trials, and even the most tangled messes of life.......because a mother sees the beautiful in the ugly, and the hope in the aftermath of  a storm.

Umbilical cords aren't just for nurturing a growing fetus, umbilical cords of love, grace, guidance, and patience cannot be severed.  Even as our children are making their own way in life, those cords are still pulsating wildly, and circulating unwavering strength.

How can it be, that a mother be given such a privilege and such a task as to raising a child of God?  How can it be that there can be so much angst and so much love in the process?  Well....it goes way deeper than that.

In order to understand the love of God....and the heart of God, we have to experience it on our level.  Our human minds are finite and limited and so is our strength and our ability to love.  Without the constant pulsating flow of God's grace, through His amazing Holy Spirit in us and through us, motherhood would be the most daunting tasks in all of life.  But as an umbilical cord connects mother to child,  the Spirit of God connects Him to His children.  Jesus redeeming love made that Three-Stranded cord unseverable for all eternity......and we can count on His continuing flow of unconditional love and grace to extend out to the children He has entrusted to us.  Our experiences of joy and sorrow are felt by the heart of God Himself.  And we learn about life through His eyes.

He sees each one of His precious children as He has created them to be....and as they will become.  We just see the here and now.  We can rest in His great plan and purpose....even when our hearts are breaking over watching the struggle, and enduring the storm.

Mother's Day is about a mother's life....and a day to thank not only mother's, but a day to thank our gracious Father for loving us enough to bring us to our knees, over and over again, in praise AND in pleading on behalf of our children.

Mother's Day 5/2014

Spring Snow

Here it is....late spring and WE HAVE SNOW!!  May in Wyoming is so uncertain and unpredictable!  That's how life is sometimes too.  We never know when we will be showered with unpredictable circumstances or when the cold winds and blankets of icy burdens will cover us with chilling force.  But beneath the snow is thriving green grass and stubborn spring shoots that WILL NOT BE DAUNTED!  One thing is for sure........with the snow and rain, comes life sustaining moisture.  And with the storms of life, comes thirst quenching strength from God that nurtures and grows our faith.  The Son will come out....not tomorrow, not later, not when the foggy storm lifts.........the Son will come out right when we ask, and no matter what it may look like in our lives, He is here. 

"I will cause the shower to come down in his season;  there shall be showers of blessing." Ezekiel 34:26

And the Fog was Lifted

Have you ever been in a fog?  Maybe what comes to your mind when I say this, is real fog...I mean the kind caused by the clouds being so close to the ground that they touch the earth, leaving a white heavy thickness in the air.  Fog blurs our vision of things that were once clear to our sight.  I've been in fog so thick that I could only see as far as 10 feet in front of me.  When driving, this can be frightening and tends to slow things down to a cautious crawl, because we can't see what is up ahead.  What if there might be another car nearby?  Or a pedestrian or cyclist on the road?  So we creep along, almost powerless, keeping our eyes just on the pavement right in front of us, because if you don't, you can get off course and end up running off the road.   I really don't like that!  And have you ever walked in the fog?  It is cold and damp....and still.  Fog usually comes in waves and wisps.  It moves in stealth-like sneakiness, without making a sound.  One minute your surroundings are clear, and the next minute they are lost in the fog, and you had no idea that was going to happen.

I've been in a fog for awhile.  No, not the kind I just described, although the similarities run parallel.  One minute my faith was clear and I could see where I was going.....and the next minute all I could see was what was directly in front of me.  My vision of who I was and where I was going in my faith became stifled, and I crept along in fear of what might lay ahead.  I mean, what if there might be an obstacle in my path?  What if there might be people along the way that I might hurt or offend? What if someone might hurt or offend me? What if I shouldn't be on this road at all?  So, almost powerlessly, I just was moving from day to day, merely getting by, and only by taking that next step.

Now don't get me wrong, my faith in who God is, never wavered, because when you know the Lord, He IS your faith, and you know deep in your heart that He is your guide even in the foggiest of times.  But as I think about this, I realize it was my faith in the future that was dwindling.  It was my faith in what God could do in my life....what He could do with ME.

You know, when you are driving in the fog, you never forget how to drive the car, it's just that you can't drive the way you could without the fog.  And when walking in the fog, you never forget how to walk, you just aren't sure WHERE to walk.  Likewise, when in a spiritual fog, you don't forget what you know about God, and your relationship with Him never ceases......it's just that you lose sight of His plan and purpose.

And sometimes you forget how much He loves you.

When we lose sight of how much God loves us, it can be a very cold and damp place in life.

 Love is the Light that burns through those thick clouds of fog.  He shines through, dispersing the wisps of doubt and fear. He breaks up the billows of sorrow and hopelessness.  He gives vision to what lies ahead....to the joy set before us, in Him.  He restores our power to press ahead on the journey He has set before us.   You see, we may know how to drive, but without power, there is no driving.  We may know how to walk, but without strength, we cannot even stand.  Forgetting Who fuels us, and Who our true Power is, results in a pointless and joyless walk.

The other day, there was a break in the rainy and snowy weather we had been having.  The sun was shining brightly, and the birds were singing a chorus of gratitude.  My little dogs  ran and played in the yard, rather than running up to the front door to come inside.  The cat rolled around on the warm pavement of the driveway like she was trying to soak it in on every side.  People were out walking and riding their bikes, and everything seemed ALIVE! Oh the joy!  I think people were extra joyful because they were so grateful for the reprieve from the cold, damp weather!


That's how I feel today.....no, our weather is still not warm and sunny, but my heart is!  The fog of doubt and fear has lifted.  Through God's faithfulness to provide all that I needed in order to serve Him by giving the lecture for my Bible study, and then blessing me with a weekend at the Women of Faith conference with a dear friend, I feel renewed!  Not only do I feel renewed, I am extra joyful for the reprieve from the heaviness of  all of the things that were weighing me down.  What my heart knows, has burned through how I was feeling.  What I know about my Lord....and how I know HIM has been sparked!  Instead of focusing on the fog, I see the Son shining through.

Our feelings can be as deceitful as the thick and dense fog.  If we focus on them, we slow to a creeping crawl on our journey of faith.....fearful of what lies ahead.  But when we focus on the Son....who died so that we would not have to fear, and was raised to life so that we too may be empowered by His Spirit, we suddenly not only can move ahead, we can do it with passion, and purpose!

Why am I telling you this?  Because I want you to know that He died for you too.  And His power is mighty enough to fuel everyone who loves Him and who is walking this journey of faith with Him.  If you are weary, come to Him.  If you are lost in a fog of uncertainty, sorrow, pain, or loss, He will not only give you rest, but He will empower you in ways that would astound you!  If your faith has been stifled, it is not lost......it's just waiting for the Light of the Son to burn through, and I pray that happens soon!



                                                                                                      internet photo













We Dance

Home Sweet Home

The little room at the top of the stairs in my 2-story house is a sanctuary these days.  It's a place where I go to do my Bible study, listen to my music, and ponder the grace of God.  It's painted in a bright color, it's warm, and it's a place where I feel close to God.  But this room wasn't always like this....no....this room use to be a place where a mama's heart would sorrow, a place where her child transformed from being cheerful and eager-to-please, to sullen, private, and distant.  This room used to bring fear to my heart each time I passed by, wondering what things might be hidden there....or what I may not find there.  How many times did that teenager sneak out the bedroom window and drop to the ground and disappear into the night as I slept right down the hall?  It's those kinds of things that bring fear to a mama's heart.  Oh, it wasn't always that way....at one time it was a place where I read stories, decorated the wall with a big tree filled with birds and bugs, and prayed and kissed the child goodnight.

I suppose if walls could really talk, we would learn alot.  If these 4 walls could tell a story, it would be a 16 year long story of joys and sorrows and secrets.  Kind of like the walls of my heart.

My child is grown and gone now, but this mama still longs for transformation.  Transformation of hearts.
This room is filled with a close sense of the presence of God.  Could it be, that one day that child's heart would be transformed like this room?  Could it be that what was once dark, would be filled with the Light of hope and the warmth of love, and filled with a close sense of the presence of God?  Like this room, that child's heart was once a place of joyful stories, prayers, and kisses....and I believe it still is.  The walls of this room haven't changed....neither has the carpet or the door or the windows.  But instead of windows used for running away, they are used to let light in and fresh spring air.  You see...our hearts are capable of many things.  It's what we fill them with that matters.  We can fill them with joyful stories, prayers, and kisses.....or we can allow the sullen confusion to drive us out the window to escape into the darkness.

My child has a sweet sweet heart.  There has never been a day that I didn't believe that.  No matter what, there is a strong and powerful love that keeps me fixed on that truth.  I'm drawn to that sweetness....and nothing will ever change that. My child will always be my sweet child.  Even in the messiness of life.  God sees me and you that way too.  I can't count the many times I have grieved Him with my words or actions. The walls of my heart have seen sullen, and dark times.  There have been times when I have "snuck out the windows" of my heart and gone out into the darkness.  But He always knows where I am.....and He ALWAYS LOVES ME.  I am His child....and because of that, no matter what happens in life, He is drawn to me by that love.....and NOTHING can ever snatch me from His embrace.

Every parent longs to see their prodigal children come home.  We wait, we watch, we pray, and we keep loving and loving and loving.  And when they come running, we meet them with open arms of forgiveness and unfathomable joy.  I am sitting in this sanctuary of a room right now, and I feel His loving arms around me as I share in intimate relationship with Abba, Son, and Spirit.  He is waiting with open arms for all of His prodigals to come home.....the door is open.

Come home sweet children.  He loves you.

Good Works

Work...I sigh heavy as I think of my weekend at work.  Am I getting too old this kind of work?  My brain sure doesn't seem to be as sharp as it needs to be, and over and over again I feel overwhelmed and defeated by the nagging doubts in my mind..."you are not good enough....you are NOT good enough...YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH".  Oh, it's not just my job as a nurse, it's everything I do...it just never seems good enough.  I always seem to fall short of the standards that I have set for myself.  I cringe as I think of the many ways that I fall short. And after I cringe so hard that my head hurts, I sigh heavy again.

Walking through life with self-made expectations works for awhile.  We can work real hard, and achieve a certain amount of success.  But is it ever really ENOUGH?  I guess the answer to that question depends on what we define "enough" to be right?  Maybe that's the problem... our understanding of what it means to be enough is entirely different than what God intends....or is it?  Here is one of the definitions of "enough" found in the dictionary:  " in a quantity or degree that answers a purpose or satisfies a need or desire; sufficiently."
I find this definition to be very intriguing because it seems to clarify, even in a godly sense, what it means to be enough.  "A quantity or degree that answers a purpose...."  So what is that purpose?

The Lord has a specific purpose for each one of us.  

But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.

Exodus 9:16
That's it?  It seems too simple!  Are we are worst enemies when it comes to determining our purpose in life?  Maybe so.

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

Proverbs 19:20-22

We strive and strive for perfection and to be "enough", only to be disillusioned and disappointed, when all along, we were created for GOD'S purpose...and along with that comes God's enabling to fulfill that purpose.

for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

Philippians 2:12-14

So what about all of the things in life that we feel we need to do?  What about all of my failed attempts to do things right?  What about the times that things don't turn out the way I think they should?  What about all of the people I disappoint? How do all of these things figure into that purpose?  Let's face it, life is full of that stuff!

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:27-29

He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time,

2 Timothy 1:8-10
So....even in the struggles of life, when we feel like we are not measuring up....even in our perceived failed attempts, God's grace prevails and He uses it all for His good....IT'S ENOUGH.

But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.
Psalm 33:10-12

Back to that definition of "enough":
" in a quantity or degree that answers a purpose or satisfies a need or desire;    SUFFICIENTLY."
When I am feeling very insufficient, I need to remember that if He enables me to fulfill His purpose, then ultimately it will satisfy His desire for my life SUFFICIENTLY because , "He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 
2 Corinthians 12:8-10

And here is my favorite part of the verse!
"Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."

So if I understand what all of these precious words of scripture are saying, it boils down to one main idea.  Being "enough" is determined by God and His purpose for us....not by our own standards.  Being "enough" is a process that happens by God's grace through Christ Jesus.  Being "enough" is not about us...it's about glorifying God and displaying His power and love in our lives, and His power is made perfect in our weakness.  So when I feel so inadequate, perhaps that's when He does His greatest work in me!   And I can be confident of this:
" that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil 1:6

He will never give up on me! In His Presence, I am ENOUGH!

Sunrise/Moonset

                               SUNRISE                                       

               

MOONSET

Photo credit--Ayda Hamann

I'm in my house, and out the front window is the sunrise, and out of the back window is the moonset,

and I am all in wonder....saying to myself, "how can it be that both the sun and the moon appear at the same time?  I mean, the sun shines by day and the moon shines by night, and it's usually one or the other....right?  Usually it's day or it's night....usually it's bright or it's dark....right?  Well, lately that's how my mind has been thinking.  I see things as either black or white, good or bad, and right or wrong.  And to tell you the honest truth, I have been struggling with looking more on the dark side than the light side.

I struggle with depression.  It is especially bad in the winter months....and, I guess I should mention that

it comes also with being "a middle-aged woman" too! Anyone that has suffered depression can understand the light vs dark thing.  The light is present, yet we still feel like we are surrounded by darkness.  This blog isn't about me though...it's about the things that I am learning about God....it's about His goodness in the midst of darkness, and His "rightness" in the midst of our wrongness.  It's about His SONRISES in the morning and His MOONLIGHT in the night. His Light shines on through day and night, even when we are standing in the shadows of life.  My dear friend Kathy always says that there wouldn't be shadows if there wasn't a presence of light.  And she is right. 

 God, the Creator of the universe, created day AND night, each one working in harmony with the other. He balanced the day with the night so that each day would be recognized and counted. I believe He does that in our lives as well. He balances the joy and the sorrows in our lives, and through that, we gain a greater consciousness of Who He Is, and learn to make each day count.  Without darkness, we wouldn't understand light, and without trials, we wouldn't appreciate joy.  But He is ALWAYS PRESENT in it all. 

Seeing the moon set, the same time as the sunrise, helps me to remember that at the end of every darkness comes a new day, and at the end of every struggle comes a new joy as we acknowledge the LIGHT that was present in the midst of it all.  

God made two great lights—the                                                                 greater light to govern the day and                                             the lesser light to govern the night.
Genesis 1:16

For God who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God's glory, displayed in the face of Christ.  2 Cor. 4:6