Living Expectantly

An empty place at the table~~~~empty plate, empty bowl.  Empty Place.  He said he was coming.  He even wanted his special "Fry Bread and Chicken and Dumplings"~~~~I looked forward to his arrival all day long.  I shopped for the food, and I made sure everything was ready, but he didn't show up.  I was crushed.

I remember the day when the table was set and every place was filled.  Hands collided reaching for the butter at the same time, voices chattered about the events of the day, and giggles erupted as one burped loudly and was sentenced to doing the dinner dishes as punishment!  I remember having expectations then of a nice quiet mealtime with children who knew good manners!  And now~~~~~my expectations have changed drastically.  Now, all I wanted was to just see him at the table so I could hear about  his day. 

Sometimes we have expectations of people that never pan out.  Sometimes we get all excited over things that just aren't as important to others.  I think I did that tonight.

It's hard to know when we should have expectations and when we should not.  Expectations are sometimes derived from our own desires rather than realistic circumstances.  I know that it was just one dinner, but it wasn't really the dinner at all that I wanted~~~~it was the time with him.  I miss him so much.  This house can seem so empty with the kids gone.

I read once that instead of expectations, we should live our lives with expectancy. There is a difference you know.  When we live with expectations, we set the standard ourselves.  But when we live with expectancy, we just live looking for the best in things~~~~living by grace. I can choose to be sad all night, and upset that he didn't show up.  Or, I can choose to look forward to the next time, and hope that when he realizes what he missed, he will try harder to show up next time!

Isn't that how God must feel about us sometimes?  I imagine He awaits my attention more than I know.  And I'll bet that there are many times that I fail to show up, even though I have prayed and have made requests that He has honored.  I am grateful that He is a God of grace and He never gives up on us no matter how many times we disappoint Him. Maybe this is how He teaches us patience and how to live a life of expectancy rather than laying down our own expectations of others?

So~~~~I packaged up his favorite "Fry Bread and Chicken and Dumplings" and put them in the fridge~~~because I know he will show up sometime, and when he does, I will be ready!  I am expectant that he will!