My Girls

Together Again!

Seems crazy that two, born fom the same body, raised side by side through toddler to teen, and loved fiercly by the one who gave them birth, would all be living in separate places. Such is life, but this Mama is having trouble liking it!

A recent trip to Kylie's, provided a chance for us to all be together before Kristin heads off to school. Seeing the girls playing at the park brought back so many memories. It was as though they were 4 and 6 again, gigglng and challenging one another to "try this!" My heart felt joy, and sorrow all at the same time.

How could it be that this time in life could already be here? I can't believe that i have to let go ALREADY. Oh, how I miss those days of having them near, watching them play, dressing them in matching outfits, playing house with them, doing crafts and baking with them, reading to them, cuddling with them and smelling the familiar scent of their little sweet heads, and then tucking them into bed at night with a kiss and a prayer.

When they went off to college, it was hard, but somehow I still felt like they were mine! Now, Kylie is married and Kristin is preparing to start her career after this last year fo school and probably won't live at home next summer. So the reality of letting go is hitting me like a punch in the gut. Don't get me wrong, I am so excited for them and so blessed that they are finding their own way in life. I love seeing them blossom in time, but a Mama's heart always has that one piece that just wont detach, and every once in awhile it tugs hard enough to hurt, until it is stretched and made more pliable.

The truth is, they were never really mine to begin with. They were "on loan" from God, given to us for safe keeping, to nurture and teach until one day when they would be ready to go out and follow their own callings in life. I mean, that is the goal right? Self talk, self talk! I wonder why this is so hard? A friend said, "i wonder why God paired menopause and our children leaving all around the same time in life?!" I wonder that too.....in fact I think that will be one of my first questions when I get to heaven!

One thing I know for sure is that our sorrow is often in relation to our love. The more we love, the harder it is to let go. So......I must love my children a whole bunch! Thank God my son Brennan is still near....for now!

I am thankful for these moments of reflection and memories that can never be stolen, and I am so thankful for children that still love to take their Mama along when they go to the park to play!